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  • Agi Tiara Pranoto

    Agi Tiara Pranoto

    Seorang Blogger Indonesia yang berdomisili di Yogyakarta. Selain menulis, dia juga sangat hobi bermain game FPS. Cita-citanya adalah mendapatkan passive income sehingga tidak perlu bekerja di kantor, apa daya selama cita-cita itu belum tercapai, dia harus menikmati hari-harinya sebagai mediator kesehatan.



    Okay, i know lah the journal isn't related to the topic, but then it looks good and I need picture. PS: it's really good, you should read it. It's about how you can't run a nation like you run a fortune 500 company.

    I've spent most of my life in Indonesia as I am a native to the vast archipelago and the beautiful countryside. Life is more beautiful when you can spend a dollar for three-course meals a day and still save a few cents for the drink. I ate and breathe indonesian food as much i love chinese food. I went to a frigging law school and studied Indonesian Law for God's sake.

    My dad used to tell me this every dinner; as we have a lot of people in our nation, the only way to govern so much brains and so many thoughts is by military government. He's passionate about the New Order government, and hates the current 'reformed' government. Basically, he's a conservative and believe that someone should take the stern stand to govern and rule the people. 

    I am less inclined to agree with him. I am a liberalist. I believe in freedom of speech and democracy. Although we're not yet a great nation we used to be, we're going there. 30+ years of an era had led us astray and when this whole 'reformed' thing goes up, we went down in chaos trying to throw everything 'new order' out of the window. 

    So therefore, I love this country. I have faith in my nation and in the ideology it brings. I have faith in the extra-delicious nasi padang & bakwan malang. My hate of this country stems from something else.

    Recently, there were series of rape cases unfolded all around Indonesia. It unfolds with the Yuyun case. The case got very little coverage in the media until feminist groups in Indonesia held a vigil for the tragic death. Yuyun was 14 years old at the time, and was gang-raped then left to death after raped multiple times. It was then implied that she died during the rape.

    The reactions from the general public was apalling as it was terrifying; some blame the freaking gang-rape to the victim.

    "it is her fault she walks alone at night in such dark places"
    "if girls cover their aurat this won't happened"
    "girls should not go out at night"

    i mean, what the actual f**k is this. a girl walks home at night with no light because she had no money and access to a better road from school. why the f**k nobody blames the electricity company for providing insufficient light? why the f**k nobody blames the social worker for not providing her a better home? why the f**k nobody blames the national construction service for not building a better road?

    I mean, life in Indonesia sucks if you don't have money and access to the world. Why the hell are you blaming people for not having money and privilege?

    And slowly another rape/gang-rape/murder unveiled. Some hasn't been solved yet, some had the perpetrators locked up, and some... well, some went unnoticed. Some activist said, in 2016 alone, there were 44 women killed in the hands of men, including 7 teenagers.

    This is not because they wore skimpy clothes or walk alone at night. This is because criminal activities does happened and sometimes it runs rampant among our neighborhood. This is because we socially punished our victims. This because we didn't recognized catcalling as a sexual harrasment. This is because we didn't regard women having the same power and the same abilities as men to protect themselves.

    For a nations so diverse, we often forget that we're born from the same kind of womb. We often forget to hold regards our mother and our grandmother, for without them we will never born in this world.

    We often judged characters based on what we see, involving our emotions and our narrow mind on the process, without considering what happened on the other side of the coin. We often hypersexualized ourselves just to get recognition of the general public. Hell, who the f**k hasn't been dressed up at least once to please someone else's taste? We all do. All of it because we're not realizing what's at stake here.

    A woman's honest mistake becomes a stigma for other women.
    Let's say one prostitutes dressed in a very skimpy clothing, then all women in skimpy clothing turns into prostitutes in public's eyes.
    This is wrong. But this is what happened here in Indonesia.
    In the 90s catcalling might been the best way to flirt, but in the 2016 it should've been regarded as sexual harrasment because they meant different things back in the day.
    We're too afraid to teach sex-ed in primary school, we're too afraid to embrace the nature of procreating because of the culture, religion and the taboo. Instead we sheltered those curious minds and repressed them in a way that they exploded fast during their rebellious teenagehood.

    Aren't we all to blame here?
    Lost of lives in the hand of ignorant mass.

    And dear, this is why I hate Indonesia. All of us has our fair share of dirt and responsibilities that shaped our country this way. But then, most of us had stop caring from a long time ago, until it kills us, until it kills our family, until it kills our loved ones.

    Let's reflect and think about it. 
    . Rabu, 25 Mei 2016 .

    popular posts

    IBX5B00F39DDBE69
    . Minggu, 15 Mei 2016 .


    Picture taken by Retina Production

    There's a reason why I get married in my early 20s. When I was diagnosed with endometriosis and hormonal imbalance that requires me to regularly check my hormone level, I was dumbfounded. A quick google search about how my menstruation came every 5 months or so shows me that obgyn visit is a must. After 4 years, my menstruation cycle shifted from 5 months to 3 months, but it still made conceiving very hard. I went to several doctors looking for answer and most of them said, it'll be very difficult for me to conceive, yet if I could, my menstrual problems will go away on its own.

    Enough to say that I was so scared beyond beliefs--because: a) I was an only child, and seeing my mom and dad holding my cousins' babies hurts my feelings and my ego and, b) I'm afraid of commitment & affection.

    For those who knows me very well, I'm a stubborn & workaholic. My work hours consists of almost 20 hours of going places and thinking hard for the sake of my clients--the worst part? I enjoyed them. Working keeps my sanity despite of my health. Plus, with my payroll on the clock, some extra cash to burn is a very enjoyable benefit. 

    I had some traumatic experience with love on my adolescent days that left me scarred that I didn't let people touch me that easy. I'm still dating, but not with the intention of being serious. Boys broke my heart and I had to rebuild my trust each time I go out. I let my last ex cheat on me multiple times and toyed with our 3,5 years worth of relatioship just because I think I wasn't worth enough to come home to. 

    The scariest thing about committing to a relationship is that you dealt with this other people. You dealt with feelings, needs, and wants. You had to trust, learn and fight for the rest of your life. Plus, there were this part where sex is involved. I'm just not ready for everything.

    In Indonesian society, having kids right after married is a norm. Don't get me wrong, I want kids. I'm just not sure I can conceive one. Each and each time I went to Hormone Therapy, I broke down. I felt useless and incomplete as a woman. My friend used to point out that it is funny how a strong willed, independent career woman, still cried because she can't conceive. Maybe, most people had forgotten that below our hard shells, we are still a little girl by heart. 

    Then I met this special guy who thinks my condition is just a butter to a bread that is me. He's simple, down to earth and very humble. He's smart. He taught me to laugh unconditionally. The day I told him that I might not be able to conceive, he smiled and said kids or no kids, we'll still be happy together. 

    At times, even after my marriage, I still refused to be touched or kissed or hugged. I cried when I remembered certain details that made me felt traumatic and used, and he'll tell me that everything had passed. My darkest days are over. When I finish my sets of hormone pills, I will turn into this raging-cold-heart-b*tch, yet he stays. It's amazing how he dealt with me without violence, even after years of dating & months of marriage.

    People often commented about our social standing and academic status. That is okay, because I know that I will be very proud to have our kids turn out just like him. Beside, I didn't felt used in any ways. He tried his best to provide for our little family, and he still needs to cope with my sets of dramas and problems every day. 

    Those who doesn't understands thought I'm marrying someone purely because they ask me to. 
    Those who understands saw a girl who found out that despite of her shortcomings, she still deserves some love.


    . Rabu, 06 April 2016 .

    I'm a sucker for everything beauty and everything cheap. My make-up collection ranged from drugstore, local brand and cheap korean brand. The only thing they have in common is how I used them for daily basis, and how cheap they are. I simply don't have the kind of money to splurge on foundations and lipstick. 

    One of my favorite brand is NYX. Why? Because it's cheap and good. My love for NYX knows no bound. I like brands that is accessible to everyone, and by accessible I mean they have counters set up at your make-up store and local shopping malls. Moreover, NYX's beauty assistant is more than willing to tell you which counters had the colors you want, in case they're unavailable.

    Why? 

    Because online shopping just don't cut it for me. 

    I love online shopping, but with my skintone, I had to go on thousand of reviews and swatches to find the right one and sometimes I fail. Having physical swatches and samples available for me has helped me find the right colors. 

    So, having NYX counter available even in my town (which is a small town) is very helpful and I collect their products like there's no tomorrow.

    nyx


    Nyx eye shadow
    168.365 IDR - very.co.uk


    NYX eyebrow makeup
    79.355 IDR - ulta.com


    Nyx concealer
    87.300 IDR - target.com


    Lipstick
    79.485 IDR - nyxcosmetics.com




    I listed a few of my must-have! These items had been on my make-up pouch for months and even years because I kept re-purchasing. My favorite is the eyebrow powder and matte lipstick because for a matte lipstick, they have a very good formula and very easy to apply. My go to shades is MLS12 - Sierra. It's a coral-peachy shades and it suits my yellow skin perfectly.


    I'm using the matte lipstick on Sierra, Brow Powder No 1 and Concealer stick to highlight my nose

    If you take a look at the price, almost all of NYX products are below IDR 100.000 (USD 8) and the eyeshadow trio sold here around IDR 150.000 (USD 13). I mean, it's a bargain & for a beginner, they're not that hard to use. 

    Since I'm not a make up guru, having available swatches nearby always helped me find the right shades, and in my town, the beauty assistant in NYX is always very helpful and patient. I've always tried everything before choosing one or two products that I liked. (sometimes i feel guilty if i didn't buy).

    Always be careful when buying NYX's product online, because after they gained popularity, it seems that there were a few counterfeits sold online and at shady shopping strip counters. Always buy from respectable sources or directly on their counter.

    Now tell me, which NYX product did you like??
    . Selasa, 29 Maret 2016 .


    I know I should've post these a few months ago, but Alfa & I promised to kept it a secret--well, not so secret as our friends and family might've already seen the picture--but to put it on public space is on another level. 

    So here it is. The big news: 

    We're Married!


    Okay, not important lah. But the point is, we're married and I'm too stressed out/lazy/both to blog about it.
    But for you, I'm going to share the detail. Yes, I'm going to teach you how to save and skimp and fight for your wedding. 

    part one first: our prewedding pictures. 

    I have a hard time believing someone will taking my picture in the right angle that makes me looks less like angry mak lampir and more like Gigi Hadid. Problem is: i'm not pretty. Second problem is: my fiance is far more thinner than me. 

    third problem is: budget.

    I can't believe how expensive it is to get your pre-wedding pictures taken properly. Some asks for payment for more than 12 Million rupiahs (around USD 1000). The cheapest one I can get offers only few hours of photoshoot for 4 Million Rupiahs (around USD 350). 

    So, became the frugal girl i've always been, i seek for budget options and find out about Retina Production. They are my juniors from law school (in which I used to taught them how to edit pictures) and based on Yogyakarta--although they're more than willing to work on neighboring towns. 

    I lived by this rule when you pay peanuts, you get monkeys. But then, the results is astonishingly beautiful. They also adjust their equipments to your needs and budget and were open to consultations. Expensive photographers doesn't always guarantee they'll produce great pictures. In the end, it comes to the chemistry between the object (which is, yours truly) and the one who took the pictures. 

    I was able to book a whole day session and scheduled the photoshoot to be held in two places: The Kwaru Beach and Sindu Kusuma Edupark. Anyway the entrance fee for the beach is free since it's one of those virgin beach without much exposure and the Edupark fee were around IDR 500.000 including transit hall, private entrance, free tickets for two person and free entrance for 8 photographers (I only bring 3. My entourage is not that big, we even fit the whole team + properties in my city car)

    kudos for Retina productions!
    All picture taken by Retina Productions Team
    Make Up Artist by Shibuya by New Topsy
    Edited by Retina Productions & Me



    The engagement ring shot. Notice how alfa's ring is hollow? His gemstone was swallowed by a dog. Part of his job, I guess. 


    Alfa and I wasn't too comfortable being too cheeky weeky in front of the camera, so this picture is actually very candid. We were fooling around most of the time in front of the camera, and the photographers were devastated because we're incapable of producing romanticism. Too bad, lol. 


    this one shot I actually said to him that he looks very thin that his cheeks is hollow. turns out also very romantic. 


    this is one of those pictures that i retouched myself, because I look really fat in this picture. I know, don't judge me. I look very miserable that I have to thin out everything and whitens my teeth. I have a stained teeth due to prolonged use of antibiotics and I seek the dental cosmetic help of Adobe Photoshop. 



    Old shoes and chalkboard, very vintage-y feeling, in which I work hard to achieve. BTW notice the needs of orthopedics correction in our feet? 


    sitting in this grass is the worst possible decisions i've ever made in my entire life. I hate it so much because it stings my rear, and oh, the entire photographer teams pulled the grass prank on me by kept saying the picture isn't done yet to payback for all the commotions i made when I got sugar rush. Nice one!


    My only wishes is to look significantly thinner, and I thought they hadn't figure it out yet. Turns out, they do and in this picture my legs looks like a #lifegoal (at least for me!)


    another nice picture of the prolonged leg and my favorite book. The sky is clear blue at the moment, thank God.


    also one of the photos i retouch on my own. You know, to trim my waist and more. too bad i botched the background. It's still unfinished at the moment but my eyelashes game is strong with this one. 


    and last but not least, a behind the scene shoot when I played bumper car. Alfa hit my car pretty hard and I think I sprained my shoulder a little. It's already dark outside and is around 7PM already, so imagine how tired I was. But nonetheless, it was fun. Also, please excuse my big tummy.

    I must say i'm very happy and pleased with the service Retina has offered me. I even re-hired them as my wedding ceremonial videographer & photographer!

    If you're in Yogyakarta and wants to find a personal videographer/photographer or even a graphic designer they also offered their various range of service. Simply contact them on:


    RETINA PRODUCTION YOGYAKARTA

    instagram // email // Line ID: ganesh.anggara


    And nope, this post isn't sponsored (although this classified as an ads). I'm just a very happy customer and although I'm their friend but they stay very professional (they even woke up earlier than me and I started make up at 5AM).

    So this is the first part of our wedding journey. Stay tune for more on our wedding journey!
    . Kamis, 28 Januari 2016 .


    i don't let so many people into my life and called them friends. it's not easy for me to begin a relationship, although from the outside i looked very welcoming. it's not easy for me to take pictures with myself in it, calling it 'photos with my friends'. that's how thick the wall is. I always carefully draw the lines. 

    recently, i found out one of my so-called friend has violated my trust. it kinda breaks my heart. i should've been angry, but i'm not. i'm just sad. 

    i'm sad that in the world filled with people and smiles, you were only left with a good few. 
    i'm sad that it's so hard for me to trust yet it's so easy for people to broke it. 
    i'm sad that no matter what happened, i couldn't call her 'a friend' anymore. 

    i should've been angry, but i'm not.