Stuff We Think on The Toilet #006: My Love-Hate Relationships with Indonesia

Okay, i know lah the journal isn't related to the topic, but then it looks good and I need picture. PS: it's really good, you s...

Okay, i know lah the journal isn't related to the topic, but then it looks good and I need picture. PS: it's really good, you should read it. It's about how you can't run a nation like you run a fortune 500 company.

I've spent most of my life in Indonesia as I am a native to the vast archipelago and the beautiful countryside. Life is more beautiful when you can spend a dollar for three-course meals a day and still save a few cents for the drink. I ate and breathe indonesian food as much i love chinese food. I went to a frigging law school and studied Indonesian Law for God's sake.

My dad used to tell me this every dinner; as we have a lot of people in our nation, the only way to govern so much brains and so many thoughts is by military government. He's passionate about the New Order government, and hates the current 'reformed' government. Basically, he's a conservative and believe that someone should take the stern stand to govern and rule the people. 

I am less inclined to agree with him. I am a liberalist. I believe in freedom of speech and democracy. Although we're not yet a great nation we used to be, we're going there. 30+ years of an era had led us astray and when this whole 'reformed' thing goes up, we went down in chaos trying to throw everything 'new order' out of the window. 

So therefore, I love this country. I have faith in my nation and in the ideology it brings. I have faith in the extra-delicious nasi padang & bakwan malang. My hate of this country stems from something else.

Recently, there were series of rape cases unfolded all around Indonesia. It unfolds with the Yuyun case. The case got very little coverage in the media until feminist groups in Indonesia held a vigil for the tragic death. Yuyun was 14 years old at the time, and was gang-raped then left to death after raped multiple times. It was then implied that she died during the rape.

The reactions from the general public was apalling as it was terrifying; some blame the freaking gang-rape to the victim.

"it is her fault she walks alone at night in such dark places"
"if girls cover their aurat this won't happened"
"girls should not go out at night"

i mean, what the actual f**k is this. a girl walks home at night with no light because she had no money and access to a better road from school. why the f**k nobody blames the electricity company for providing insufficient light? why the f**k nobody blames the social worker for not providing her a better home? why the f**k nobody blames the national construction service for not building a better road?

I mean, life in Indonesia sucks if you don't have money and access to the world. Why the hell are you blaming people for not having money and privilege?

And slowly another rape/gang-rape/murder unveiled. Some hasn't been solved yet, some had the perpetrators locked up, and some... well, some went unnoticed. Some activist said, in 2016 alone, there were 44 women killed in the hands of men, including 7 teenagers.

This is not because they wore skimpy clothes or walk alone at night. This is because criminal activities does happened and sometimes it runs rampant among our neighborhood. This is because we socially punished our victims. This because we didn't recognized catcalling as a sexual harrasment. This is because we didn't regard women having the same power and the same abilities as men to protect themselves.

For a nations so diverse, we often forget that we're born from the same kind of womb. We often forget to hold regards our mother and our grandmother, for without them we will never born in this world.

We often judged characters based on what we see, involving our emotions and our narrow mind on the process, without considering what happened on the other side of the coin. We often hypersexualized ourselves just to get recognition of the general public. Hell, who the f**k hasn't been dressed up at least once to please someone else's taste? We all do. All of it because we're not realizing what's at stake here.

A woman's honest mistake becomes a stigma for other women.
Let's say one prostitutes dressed in a very skimpy clothing, then all women in skimpy clothing turns into prostitutes in public's eyes.
This is wrong. But this is what happened here in Indonesia.
In the 90s catcalling might been the best way to flirt, but in the 2016 it should've been regarded as sexual harrasment because they meant different things back in the day.
We're too afraid to teach sex-ed in primary school, we're too afraid to embrace the nature of procreating because of the culture, religion and the taboo. Instead we sheltered those curious minds and repressed them in a way that they exploded fast during their rebellious teenagehood.

Aren't we all to blame here?
Lost of lives in the hand of ignorant mass.

And dear, this is why I hate Indonesia. All of us has our fair share of dirt and responsibilities that shaped our country this way. But then, most of us had stop caring from a long time ago, until it kills us, until it kills our family, until it kills our loved ones.

Let's reflect and think about it. 

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