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  • Agi Tiara Pranoto

    Agi Tiara Pranoto

    Seorang Blogger Indonesia yang berdomisili di Yogyakarta. Selain menulis, dia juga sangat hobi main PUBG Mobile. Cita-citanya adalah mendapatkan passive income sehingga tidak perlu bekerja di kantor, apa daya selama cita-cita itu belum tercapai, dia harus menikmati hari-harinya sebagai manajer sebuah penginapan syariah dan content manager sebuah clothing line



    Okay, i know lah the journal isn't related to the topic, but then it looks good and I need picture. PS: it's really good, you should read it. It's about how you can't run a nation like you run a fortune 500 company.

    I've spent most of my life in Indonesia as I am a native to the vast archipelago and the beautiful countryside. Life is more beautiful when you can spend a dollar for three-course meals a day and still save a few cents for the drink. I ate and breathe indonesian food as much i love chinese food. I went to a frigging law school and studied Indonesian Law for God's sake.

    My dad used to tell me this every dinner; as we have a lot of people in our nation, the only way to govern so much brains and so many thoughts is by military government. He's passionate about the New Order government, and hates the current 'reformed' government. Basically, he's a conservative and believe that someone should take the stern stand to govern and rule the people. 

    I am less inclined to agree with him. I am a liberalist. I believe in freedom of speech and democracy. Although we're not yet a great nation we used to be, we're going there. 30+ years of an era had led us astray and when this whole 'reformed' thing goes up, we went down in chaos trying to throw everything 'new order' out of the window. 

    So therefore, I love this country. I have faith in my nation and in the ideology it brings. I have faith in the extra-delicious nasi padang & bakwan malang. My hate of this country stems from something else.

    Recently, there were series of rape cases unfolded all around Indonesia. It unfolds with the Yuyun case. The case got very little coverage in the media until feminist groups in Indonesia held a vigil for the tragic death. Yuyun was 14 years old at the time, and was gang-raped then left to death after raped multiple times. It was then implied that she died during the rape.

    The reactions from the general public was apalling as it was terrifying; some blame the freaking gang-rape to the victim.

    "it is her fault she walks alone at night in such dark places"
    "if girls cover their aurat this won't happened"
    "girls should not go out at night"

    i mean, what the actual f**k is this. a girl walks home at night with no light because she had no money and access to a better road from school. why the f**k nobody blames the electricity company for providing insufficient light? why the f**k nobody blames the social worker for not providing her a better home? why the f**k nobody blames the national construction service for not building a better road?

    I mean, life in Indonesia sucks if you don't have money and access to the world. Why the hell are you blaming people for not having money and privilege?

    And slowly another rape/gang-rape/murder unveiled. Some hasn't been solved yet, some had the perpetrators locked up, and some... well, some went unnoticed. Some activist said, in 2016 alone, there were 44 women killed in the hands of men, including 7 teenagers.

    This is not because they wore skimpy clothes or walk alone at night. This is because criminal activities does happened and sometimes it runs rampant among our neighborhood. This is because we socially punished our victims. This because we didn't recognized catcalling as a sexual harrasment. This is because we didn't regard women having the same power and the same abilities as men to protect themselves.

    For a nations so diverse, we often forget that we're born from the same kind of womb. We often forget to hold regards our mother and our grandmother, for without them we will never born in this world.

    We often judged characters based on what we see, involving our emotions and our narrow mind on the process, without considering what happened on the other side of the coin. We often hypersexualized ourselves just to get recognition of the general public. Hell, who the f**k hasn't been dressed up at least once to please someone else's taste? We all do. All of it because we're not realizing what's at stake here.

    A woman's honest mistake becomes a stigma for other women.
    Let's say one prostitutes dressed in a very skimpy clothing, then all women in skimpy clothing turns into prostitutes in public's eyes.
    This is wrong. But this is what happened here in Indonesia.
    In the 90s catcalling might been the best way to flirt, but in the 2016 it should've been regarded as sexual harrasment because they meant different things back in the day.
    We're too afraid to teach sex-ed in primary school, we're too afraid to embrace the nature of procreating because of the culture, religion and the taboo. Instead we sheltered those curious minds and repressed them in a way that they exploded fast during their rebellious teenagehood.

    Aren't we all to blame here?
    Lost of lives in the hand of ignorant mass.

    And dear, this is why I hate Indonesia. All of us has our fair share of dirt and responsibilities that shaped our country this way. But then, most of us had stop caring from a long time ago, until it kills us, until it kills our family, until it kills our loved ones.

    Let's reflect and think about it. 
    . Wednesday, May 25, 2016 .

    Stuff We Think on The Toilet #006: My Love-Hate Relationships with Indonesia

    popular posts

    IBX5B00F39DDBE69
    . Wednesday, May 25, 2016 .



    Okay, i know lah the journal isn't related to the topic, but then it looks good and I need picture. PS: it's really good, you should read it. It's about how you can't run a nation like you run a fortune 500 company.

    I've spent most of my life in Indonesia as I am a native to the vast archipelago and the beautiful countryside. Life is more beautiful when you can spend a dollar for three-course meals a day and still save a few cents for the drink. I ate and breathe indonesian food as much i love chinese food. I went to a frigging law school and studied Indonesian Law for God's sake.

    My dad used to tell me this every dinner; as we have a lot of people in our nation, the only way to govern so much brains and so many thoughts is by military government. He's passionate about the New Order government, and hates the current 'reformed' government. Basically, he's a conservative and believe that someone should take the stern stand to govern and rule the people. 

    I am less inclined to agree with him. I am a liberalist. I believe in freedom of speech and democracy. Although we're not yet a great nation we used to be, we're going there. 30+ years of an era had led us astray and when this whole 'reformed' thing goes up, we went down in chaos trying to throw everything 'new order' out of the window. 

    So therefore, I love this country. I have faith in my nation and in the ideology it brings. I have faith in the extra-delicious nasi padang & bakwan malang. My hate of this country stems from something else.

    Recently, there were series of rape cases unfolded all around Indonesia. It unfolds with the Yuyun case. The case got very little coverage in the media until feminist groups in Indonesia held a vigil for the tragic death. Yuyun was 14 years old at the time, and was gang-raped then left to death after raped multiple times. It was then implied that she died during the rape.

    The reactions from the general public was apalling as it was terrifying; some blame the freaking gang-rape to the victim.

    "it is her fault she walks alone at night in such dark places"
    "if girls cover their aurat this won't happened"
    "girls should not go out at night"

    i mean, what the actual f**k is this. a girl walks home at night with no light because she had no money and access to a better road from school. why the f**k nobody blames the electricity company for providing insufficient light? why the f**k nobody blames the social worker for not providing her a better home? why the f**k nobody blames the national construction service for not building a better road?

    I mean, life in Indonesia sucks if you don't have money and access to the world. Why the hell are you blaming people for not having money and privilege?

    And slowly another rape/gang-rape/murder unveiled. Some hasn't been solved yet, some had the perpetrators locked up, and some... well, some went unnoticed. Some activist said, in 2016 alone, there were 44 women killed in the hands of men, including 7 teenagers.

    This is not because they wore skimpy clothes or walk alone at night. This is because criminal activities does happened and sometimes it runs rampant among our neighborhood. This is because we socially punished our victims. This because we didn't recognized catcalling as a sexual harrasment. This is because we didn't regard women having the same power and the same abilities as men to protect themselves.

    For a nations so diverse, we often forget that we're born from the same kind of womb. We often forget to hold regards our mother and our grandmother, for without them we will never born in this world.

    We often judged characters based on what we see, involving our emotions and our narrow mind on the process, without considering what happened on the other side of the coin. We often hypersexualized ourselves just to get recognition of the general public. Hell, who the f**k hasn't been dressed up at least once to please someone else's taste? We all do. All of it because we're not realizing what's at stake here.

    A woman's honest mistake becomes a stigma for other women.
    Let's say one prostitutes dressed in a very skimpy clothing, then all women in skimpy clothing turns into prostitutes in public's eyes.
    This is wrong. But this is what happened here in Indonesia.
    In the 90s catcalling might been the best way to flirt, but in the 2016 it should've been regarded as sexual harrasment because they meant different things back in the day.
    We're too afraid to teach sex-ed in primary school, we're too afraid to embrace the nature of procreating because of the culture, religion and the taboo. Instead we sheltered those curious minds and repressed them in a way that they exploded fast during their rebellious teenagehood.

    Aren't we all to blame here?
    Lost of lives in the hand of ignorant mass.

    And dear, this is why I hate Indonesia. All of us has our fair share of dirt and responsibilities that shaped our country this way. But then, most of us had stop caring from a long time ago, until it kills us, until it kills our family, until it kills our loved ones.

    Let's reflect and think about it. 
    . Sunday, May 15, 2016 .


    Picture taken by Retina Production

    There's a reason why I get married in my early 20s. When I was diagnosed with endometriosis and hormonal imbalance that requires me to regularly check my hormone level, I was dumbfounded. A quick google search about how my menstruation came every 5 months or so shows me that obgyn visit is a must. After 4 years, my menstruation cycle shifted from 5 months to 3 months, but it still made conceiving very hard. I went to several doctors looking for answer and most of them said, it'll be very difficult for me to conceive, yet if I could, my menstrual problems will go away on its own.

    Enough to say that I was so scared beyond beliefs--because: a) I was an only child, and seeing my mom and dad holding my cousins' babies hurts my feelings and my ego and, b) I'm afraid of commitment & affection.

    For those who knows me very well, I'm a stubborn & workaholic. My work hours consists of almost 20 hours of going places and thinking hard for the sake of my clients--the worst part? I enjoyed them. Working keeps my sanity despite of my health. Plus, with my payroll on the clock, some extra cash to burn is a very enjoyable benefit. 

    I had some traumatic experience with love on my adolescent days that left me scarred that I didn't let people touch me that easy. I'm still dating, but not with the intention of being serious. Boys broke my heart and I had to rebuild my trust each time I go out. I let my last ex cheat on me multiple times and toyed with our 3,5 years worth of relatioship just because I think I wasn't worth enough to come home to. 

    The scariest thing about committing to a relationship is that you dealt with this other people. You dealt with feelings, needs, and wants. You had to trust, learn and fight for the rest of your life. Plus, there were this part where sex is involved. I'm just not ready for everything.

    In Indonesian society, having kids right after married is a norm. Don't get me wrong, I want kids. I'm just not sure I can conceive one. Each and each time I went to Hormone Therapy, I broke down. I felt useless and incomplete as a woman. My friend used to point out that it is funny how a strong willed, independent career woman, still cried because she can't conceive. Maybe, most people had forgotten that below our hard shells, we are still a little girl by heart. 

    Then I met this special guy who thinks my condition is just a butter to a bread that is me. He's simple, down to earth and very humble. He's smart. He taught me to laugh unconditionally. The day I told him that I might not be able to conceive, he smiled and said kids or no kids, we'll still be happy together. 

    At times, even after my marriage, I still refused to be touched or kissed or hugged. I cried when I remembered certain details that made me felt traumatic and used, and he'll tell me that everything had passed. My darkest days are over. When I finish my sets of hormone pills, I will turn into this raging-cold-heart-b*tch, yet he stays. It's amazing how he dealt with me without violence, even after years of dating & months of marriage.

    People often commented about our social standing and academic status. That is okay, because I know that I will be very proud to have our kids turn out just like him. Beside, I didn't felt used in any ways. He tried his best to provide for our little family, and he still needs to cope with my sets of dramas and problems every day. 

    Those who doesn't understands thought I'm marrying someone purely because they ask me to. 
    Those who understands saw a girl who found out that despite of her shortcomings, she still deserves some love.


    . Monday, May 2, 2016 .

    chair drama


    Floral chair
    1.319.620 IDR - kirklands.com


    Geometric chair
    6.189.630 IDR - popmap.com





    I have to admit i don't have that good of a chair in my house, so therefore, me & alfa were stuck with a few low quality counter stools my father bought me as a housewarming gift. the stools is made from plastic and very prone to falling because it really can't support people's weight. Plus it's very small and uncomfortable. I fell twice while sitting in that stool and it requires some kind of balancing-and-sitting skill, that made sitting there--working and editing had become some sort of yoga practice. 

    so, instead of buying a good quality chair, we decided to call it a truce with the chair and work in our couch instead. Remember, our couch is my childhood couch/emergency bed and it's already old and worn out. After a while, sitting in our couch had become some kind of struggle and power play of whom can kick the other out of the sofa. 

    And it had came to this: we work in my 3 meter square bedroom, along with my TV set and my single bed, sharing spaces like we lived in a half apartment bedroom. And it kinda is a half apartment bedroom. 

    Today, we realized that we had to stop living like we don't have a living spaces. We have living spaces, but we just haven't realized yet that we had so much living spaces out there. We stop living in our home and retreat to our bedroom, and we should utilize our shared work/living spaces. 

    And we should start with...

    finding a good chair. and probably a sofa.
    fingers cross, we'll found it.