• about me
  • menu
  • categories
  • Agi Tiara Pranoto

    Agi Tiara Pranoto

    Seorang Blogger Indonesia yang berdomisili di Yogyakarta. Selain menulis, dia juga sangat hobi bermain game FPS. Cita-citanya adalah mendapatkan passive income sehingga tidak perlu bekerja di kantor, apa daya selama cita-cita itu belum tercapai, dia harus menikmati hari-harinya sebagai mediator kesehatan.
    category
    dating advice
    Tampilkan postingan dengan label dating advice. Tampilkan semua postingan
    Tampilkan postingan dengan label dating advice. Tampilkan semua postingan
    Yogyakarta, Yogyakarta City, Special Region of Yogyakarta, Indonesia



    Saya punya teman, sebut saja inisialnya O yang kecanduan Tinder.

    Nah lho, pembukaan cerita ini aja udah sebut-sebut inisial. Tenang guys, kali ini saya (dan dia) memang sengaja berbagi cerita soal cari jodoh di dunia maya. Karena saya (jelas) nggak expert di bidang dating sites.
    . Kamis, 25 Mei 2017 .

    Edisi Cari Jodoh Di Dunia Maya: TINDER

    popular posts

    IBX5B00F39DDBE69
    category
    dating advice
    Tampilkan postingan dengan label dating advice. Tampilkan semua postingan
    Tampilkan postingan dengan label dating advice. Tampilkan semua postingan
    . Kamis, 25 Mei 2017 .



    Saya punya teman, sebut saja inisialnya O yang kecanduan Tinder.

    Nah lho, pembukaan cerita ini aja udah sebut-sebut inisial. Tenang guys, kali ini saya (dan dia) memang sengaja berbagi cerita soal cari jodoh di dunia maya. Karena saya (jelas) nggak expert di bidang dating sites.
    . Minggu, 12 Februari 2017 .


    Sudah baca judul postingan ini? Good, Pertanyaan itu adalah pertanyaan yang banyak ditanyakan oleh rekan-rekan seumuran saya yang mungkin sedang galau-galaunya pengen nikah muda apadaya jodoh/budget/ortu gak sampai.

    Saya menikah hampir setahun yang lalu di usia yang sangat muda bagi saya, yaitu menjelang usia 23 tahun. Sialnya, karena kebanyakan teman-teman saya adalah anak muda urban, gaul dan edgy dan pada umumnya yang hidup dengan tekanan pertanyaan "kapan kawin" tiap kali kumpul-kumpul, saya jadi punya semacam Frequently Asked Question ala-ala website nge-hits 2017 dari gimana sih bedanya nikah sama nggak nikah sampai Am I happy with my decision. Wait, Am I happy?

    Penasaran? Let's find out.
    . Minggu, 15 Mei 2016 .


    Picture taken by Retina Production

    There's a reason why I get married in my early 20s. When I was diagnosed with endometriosis and hormonal imbalance that requires me to regularly check my hormone level, I was dumbfounded. A quick google search about how my menstruation came every 5 months or so shows me that obgyn visit is a must. After 4 years, my menstruation cycle shifted from 5 months to 3 months, but it still made conceiving very hard. I went to several doctors looking for answer and most of them said, it'll be very difficult for me to conceive, yet if I could, my menstrual problems will go away on its own.

    Enough to say that I was so scared beyond beliefs--because: a) I was an only child, and seeing my mom and dad holding my cousins' babies hurts my feelings and my ego and, b) I'm afraid of commitment & affection.

    For those who knows me very well, I'm a stubborn & workaholic. My work hours consists of almost 20 hours of going places and thinking hard for the sake of my clients--the worst part? I enjoyed them. Working keeps my sanity despite of my health. Plus, with my payroll on the clock, some extra cash to burn is a very enjoyable benefit. 

    I had some traumatic experience with love on my adolescent days that left me scarred that I didn't let people touch me that easy. I'm still dating, but not with the intention of being serious. Boys broke my heart and I had to rebuild my trust each time I go out. I let my last ex cheat on me multiple times and toyed with our 3,5 years worth of relatioship just because I think I wasn't worth enough to come home to. 

    The scariest thing about committing to a relationship is that you dealt with this other people. You dealt with feelings, needs, and wants. You had to trust, learn and fight for the rest of your life. Plus, there were this part where sex is involved. I'm just not ready for everything.

    In Indonesian society, having kids right after married is a norm. Don't get me wrong, I want kids. I'm just not sure I can conceive one. Each and each time I went to Hormone Therapy, I broke down. I felt useless and incomplete as a woman. My friend used to point out that it is funny how a strong willed, independent career woman, still cried because she can't conceive. Maybe, most people had forgotten that below our hard shells, we are still a little girl by heart. 

    Then I met this special guy who thinks my condition is just a butter to a bread that is me. He's simple, down to earth and very humble. He's smart. He taught me to laugh unconditionally. The day I told him that I might not be able to conceive, he smiled and said kids or no kids, we'll still be happy together. 

    At times, even after my marriage, I still refused to be touched or kissed or hugged. I cried when I remembered certain details that made me felt traumatic and used, and he'll tell me that everything had passed. My darkest days are over. When I finish my sets of hormone pills, I will turn into this raging-cold-heart-b*tch, yet he stays. It's amazing how he dealt with me without violence, even after years of dating & months of marriage.

    People often commented about our social standing and academic status. That is okay, because I know that I will be very proud to have our kids turn out just like him. Beside, I didn't felt used in any ways. He tried his best to provide for our little family, and he still needs to cope with my sets of dramas and problems every day. 

    Those who doesn't understands thought I'm marrying someone purely because they ask me to. 
    Those who understands saw a girl who found out that despite of her shortcomings, she still deserves some love.


    . Senin, 28 September 2015 .

    Have you ever had a salmonellosis? Apparently I just got one. I had to refrain from eating frozen foods, food from any food booth and food stalls and had to cook my own food in order to recover. And what's more sad than eating your lousy cooking whenever you hang out with your friends in the campus? 

    Okay, so salmonellosis aside, I was forced to rest when my bowel movement can't handle my swag and my fever hasn't gone down in days. So, what did you do when your stomach fails you? You stay at home, you drink a lot of water, and you go on facebook.

    Why facebook? Because, my dear, facebook is the source of all my misdeeds, misinformations, and misbehaving. I often traveled from one page to another in search of human stupidity (although my own account was a living proof that stupidity does exists) and sometimes I ended up in a very entertaining page about anti-vaccine movement, another day I ended up in this weird facebook groups about Anatidaephobia (I said weird because they posts tons of picture of ducks while being a support groups for duck phobia)

    So what kind of page did I find today? 

    It's an Indonesian page, which written in an improper kind of Indonesian language ("for F sake, please use a goddamn punctuation mark" - says my best friend, D, after I show him the page) but still very informative and yet, entertaining. It's a page about Handsome Police Member & Handsome Army Member.....Impersonation. To put it simply, it is a page about catfish. (the link is here, but the page is in Indonesian, and viewer discretion is advised because there were some nudities involved although most were censored)

    I rarely heard about Indonesian online catfish, although catfishing were one of the topic I covered from my old blog that has been deleted. In Ghana, the catfish/scammer use some kind of juju magic called the Sakawa so that their presumed victims will not caught on to their scheme. In Indonesia we acknowledged an almost similar kind of black magic called pengasihan or pelet. 

    I never thought that someday, like the Sakawa, the pelet will also go online on facebook. In the form of fake accounts with handsome policemen photos uploaded. Seriously, these accounts were so fake that you could detect its fakeness just by glancing at their profile, I mean, aside from human stupidity, what kind of reason could cause this kind of madness?

    the truth is this scammer, just like the Sakawa, preys on the lonely women (unfortunately, the age demographic of 30-50 were affected the most), which usually were indonesian who works abroad as household workers (a.k.a TKW), divorced woman looking for a love interest, or even a scorned and lonely housewives. 

    I saw naive women who were bluntly lured by sweet praises which might or might not came from a guy that was a loser, barely has money and trying to scam the bucks away. They hide behind a fake profile picture--which I had to admit, was very representative to blow your ovary away. I saw women who wire huge amount of money (there's one that wire close to 100 million rupiah which was a huge sum coming from a household worker). But admittedly what made me really sad is these women actually hope to meet their prince charming someday, and will do anything for the scammer including posting compromised pictures!

    What in the world was happening. I saw a woman who already had a teenage son putting up 'married' status in facebook with one of the fake account. The marriage never happened. She lost 65 million rupiah and i can't imagine what happened to her son. 

    Truth to be told, it's terrifying how they got fooled so easily, over and over again, with the same scheme to wire their money. It's terrifying how an empowered woman could lose so easily to loneliness. All they wanted to have is someone who loves them and showered them with affection, and they found it in facebook. but sometimes, their greed blinds them from actually realizing that everything is too good to be true. Maybe the biggest blessings to humanity nowadays is indeed an awareness.

    We all are social animals. That I can't argue. But were our animalistic instinct that intense so we actually yield to loneliness and let ourselves fooled by these scammer?

    There's six billions of people in this planet. A countless stars up above our head. Yet we still found an excuse to be lonely. Maybe it's just my naivety or there's actually a different meaning to lonely in these situation? Or maybe lonely was a term for sexual needs. Who knows. (In which, my best friend, D, will shout out loud, "ladies, you have a brain! control your vajayjay!"). 

    Loneliness will kill you. 
    So don't let it seek you.


    . Selasa, 03 Maret 2015 .

    My fiance is a vet. He spends most of his time at his workplace, a cute animal clinic in Palembang, Sumatera Selatan--which is literally thousands of miles away and also in a whole different island from me. And he's the perfect date for me.

    Sure, my mom will say things like; "oh but his job is to dissects animals" (which completely untrue--my mom hates animal) or "your future house will smell like a cow farm and dog turd" which also completely untrue because they have invented odor neutralizer, dog food with yucca extract and air freshener (and also ventilation). But that's how most people react to veterinarian, anyway.

    Indonesian haven't completely acknowledged Veterinarian as a noble line of duty. In fact, most of Indonesian haven't acknowledged most important jobs as a noble profession. Most of Indonesian Veterinary practitioner was underpaid and overworked. Opening your own practice will be hard and expensive enough as most people valued their animal as a living doll and neglected their health--they usually not willing to pay huge amount of money for their pets. This is a dangerous situation for both of the owner and the pets themselves as they affect the environment surrounding them whenever they get sick. And trust me, owning a few dogs of my own, I've heard tons of stories about how the owner let their dog get sick for a couple of day before taking them to vets and by the time they got there it's too late. Even worse as one guy I know, had a dog that was diagnosed with rabies but unable to bring him to a vet because he doesn't want to pay for a very high price. He was bit and the dog was taken down a couple of days later.

    But still, I have faith in my fiance. After all his job is to save poor and sickly animals. I don't care if we're going to live modestly for the next decades. He is one hell of a guy. And I noticed this in most of the Vet i know.

    And disclaimer, I know e-Harmony released pretty much the same article, In which sometimes, I have to disagree because, well, my article is a firsthand experience of why you should date a vet. And as far as I know, everybody has their own opinion and way to handle things so I think the dating experience will be different from one vet to another. (I'm lucky I date a great one!)

    1. Veterinarian is (usually) Calm, Reserved and Patient

    I have to agree with e-Harmony with this one because; my dear friend, a Vet deals with a lot of furry nonsense all day long. They have to stay composed in an utter chaos while--let's say--a 27 kilograms dog who should've been vaccinated runs havoc on the clinic and try to bite everything that moves, or taking an immediate surgery for a cat that accidentally swallow a humongous amount of socks. 

    while in fact it is true that they're patient when it comes to their practice, we should've been careful with the way we pushed their button. I personally think that my fiance dealt with a lot of things already in his workplace and he doesn't need me to pushed him a little further. There's that one time when I waited for like two hours to tell him that I just got Angina and need an immediate trip down the ER because he's busy working--he got so mad afterwards that I didn't actually tell him, though. 

    2. You Can Communicate Non-verbally with Each Other

    Our dear vets speaks human and their patients speak furry little language. Yet with some kind of touch and miracles here and there, they can diagnose what kind of things happened deep inside those furry little body. They learned to be a little more observant and sensitive to things.

    My fiance, speaks the language of a normal human being and frankly, I speak woman. Most of the time we don't connect. Remember how I can always snicker at someone's bag saying "ugh, that bag could do better"? that translates as "the bag is better off with me".  As misogynistic as it sounds, us women have AN ENTIRE DIFFERENT LANGUAGE than most man. But when you date someone who is very observant; they'll somehow understand the language.

    Plus I don't get to tell him when I constipated. What a truly beautiful relationship.

    3. They Work Really Hard...

    ...Because most pet owners haven't realized how hard it is being a vet. If someone wants their ill and virus-ridden dog to heal in just minutes they should go to pet shaman and have a kabloomey magic. No. Animals doesn't show signs that they're sick until it became quite bad. It's their natural instinct. 

    Veterinarians saw it all. From blood, pus, turd, anything. And they can't complain about it. I saw my fiance worked in a cow farm before we were dating. All the amount that goes into those kind of work is amazing. I never saw him complain. Not even when we're at a pig farm and it smells like hell. He just worked among cows--even though one tried to kick him in the crotch and one baby cow started to run around him. 

    The downside is that he doesn't stop working to get enough rest. Working for 14 hours non stop is a regular chores for him. He also sometimes bring topic that he should have left in his office to our dinner table--and trust me, 'I just check a sample of goat feces and found a lot of worm in it' doesn't go well with your Medium Rare Sirloin Steak.

    4. He is a Superman.

    He is a doctor, a radiologist, a nurse, a pharmacist, a surgeon and other medical profession stuffed into one person. He also a strong person, taking care of animals weighted half of his body weight and sometimes thrice his body weight. He can't be afraid of wild animals, even with the most venomous snake in the world or even world's most ferocious feline. He had to stay strong for multiple surgeries in a day without having too-much-caffeine-tremor. He woke up every two hours to check on the leave-in patient. And he should understand animals of all kind when they have different organs, different sickness, and different way to handle them.

    I mean it, if it's not a superman, I don't know what is. And from my personal experience, the only thing my fiance fears the most is something happened to me and straightening iron--it freaks him out seeing me iron my hair every morning.

    5. They're grateful to see you.

    Most of the vets worked long hours with our furry little friends that doesn't speak or even behave human. So, based on natural instinct, finally talking to the same species helped them to relax their mind a little bit. I know some vets who preferred to talk to animals rather than human, but trust me, finding your soulmate who are willing to listen to your day at work, cuddles you whenever you felt a little bit down, or cook for you and wait for you to come home can bring the best in everyone. 

    I saw this pattern where most vets date other vets because they shared the same bond. I'm not a vet, so I have to develop a little patience to work on our relationship, mostly because of the work hours that he had. And when he's done practicing, all we can do is stare to each other eyes and comfort each other. Since now we're on long distance relationship, all I can do is sent 10 seconds clip through Line SnapMovie, or do a LINE video call and stare to our cell phone screen for hours. But I always know that he's grateful to see me. And that's what matters.

    Plus, I can always say, "the duck-ter is here to see you". (Kidding. I know it's a bad pun)