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  • Agi Tiara Pranoto

    Agi Tiara Pranoto

    Seorang Blogger Indonesia yang berdomisili di Yogyakarta. Selain menulis, dia juga sangat hobi bermain game FPS. Cita-citanya adalah mendapatkan passive income sehingga tidak perlu bekerja di kantor, apa daya selama cita-cita itu belum tercapai, dia harus menikmati hari-harinya sebagai mediator kesehatan.

    Have you ever had a salmonellosis? Apparently I just got one. I had to refrain from eating frozen foods, food from any food booth and food stalls and had to cook my own food in order to recover. And what's more sad than eating your lousy cooking whenever you hang out with your friends in the campus? 

    Okay, so salmonellosis aside, I was forced to rest when my bowel movement can't handle my swag and my fever hasn't gone down in days. So, what did you do when your stomach fails you? You stay at home, you drink a lot of water, and you go on facebook.

    Why facebook? Because, my dear, facebook is the source of all my misdeeds, misinformations, and misbehaving. I often traveled from one page to another in search of human stupidity (although my own account was a living proof that stupidity does exists) and sometimes I ended up in a very entertaining page about anti-vaccine movement, another day I ended up in this weird facebook groups about Anatidaephobia (I said weird because they posts tons of picture of ducks while being a support groups for duck phobia)

    So what kind of page did I find today? 

    It's an Indonesian page, which written in an improper kind of Indonesian language ("for F sake, please use a goddamn punctuation mark" - says my best friend, D, after I show him the page) but still very informative and yet, entertaining. It's a page about Handsome Police Member & Handsome Army Member.....Impersonation. To put it simply, it is a page about catfish. (the link is here, but the page is in Indonesian, and viewer discretion is advised because there were some nudities involved although most were censored)

    I rarely heard about Indonesian online catfish, although catfishing were one of the topic I covered from my old blog that has been deleted. In Ghana, the catfish/scammer use some kind of juju magic called the Sakawa so that their presumed victims will not caught on to their scheme. In Indonesia we acknowledged an almost similar kind of black magic called pengasihan or pelet. 

    I never thought that someday, like the Sakawa, the pelet will also go online on facebook. In the form of fake accounts with handsome policemen photos uploaded. Seriously, these accounts were so fake that you could detect its fakeness just by glancing at their profile, I mean, aside from human stupidity, what kind of reason could cause this kind of madness?

    the truth is this scammer, just like the Sakawa, preys on the lonely women (unfortunately, the age demographic of 30-50 were affected the most), which usually were indonesian who works abroad as household workers (a.k.a TKW), divorced woman looking for a love interest, or even a scorned and lonely housewives. 

    I saw naive women who were bluntly lured by sweet praises which might or might not came from a guy that was a loser, barely has money and trying to scam the bucks away. They hide behind a fake profile picture--which I had to admit, was very representative to blow your ovary away. I saw women who wire huge amount of money (there's one that wire close to 100 million rupiah which was a huge sum coming from a household worker). But admittedly what made me really sad is these women actually hope to meet their prince charming someday, and will do anything for the scammer including posting compromised pictures!

    What in the world was happening. I saw a woman who already had a teenage son putting up 'married' status in facebook with one of the fake account. The marriage never happened. She lost 65 million rupiah and i can't imagine what happened to her son. 

    Truth to be told, it's terrifying how they got fooled so easily, over and over again, with the same scheme to wire their money. It's terrifying how an empowered woman could lose so easily to loneliness. All they wanted to have is someone who loves them and showered them with affection, and they found it in facebook. but sometimes, their greed blinds them from actually realizing that everything is too good to be true. Maybe the biggest blessings to humanity nowadays is indeed an awareness.

    We all are social animals. That I can't argue. But were our animalistic instinct that intense so we actually yield to loneliness and let ourselves fooled by these scammer?

    There's six billions of people in this planet. A countless stars up above our head. Yet we still found an excuse to be lonely. Maybe it's just my naivety or there's actually a different meaning to lonely in these situation? Or maybe lonely was a term for sexual needs. Who knows. (In which, my best friend, D, will shout out loud, "ladies, you have a brain! control your vajayjay!"). 

    Loneliness will kill you. 
    So don't let it seek you.


    . Senin, 28 September 2015 .

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    . Minggu, 27 September 2015 .

    it's been a year since your 24th birthday, the day when I forced myself to wake up at 4AM, drive to your home bearing cupcakes and birthday gift. this year, i forced myself to wake up even more earlier just to send you a video that I assembled for hours because you're 500km plus an island away.

    I watch you grow. I watch you became the man that has a sparkly eyes. That doesn't fake his laughs anymore. That stopped wasting his time just because he feel like he doesn't want to struggle anymore. I watch you re-emerged from the life you often referred as "hell". I watch you finding a purpose to life rather than solemnly living for nothing.

    Last year, I was looking with a man with a blank stare and no life in his eyes. When questioned about the future, he will simply say "my (insert relatives/family member/ex-gf/friends) says there's an opening in the (insert government agency/pharmacy companies/foreign farms) so maybe I'm going to apply". When questioned about his relationship with anybody he will simply say, "I haven't got the slightest idea how to really bond with anyone". When questioned about his family he will simply state that his family had their own needs that they need to attend to.

    The very first month into our relationship, I saw an abusive, wreck-job kind of man who is trying to serve his purpose on keep breathing. I saw a man who neglects himself, rarely eats, never wash his car, without any penny on his pocket to spend. I saw someone who were asking for help.

    Imagine living with someone who were trapped in his own darkest corner of his world, and all you're trying to do is bringing candles because you don't even have a light on you.

    Day by day, I forced him to go out with his friends and enjoy a night out. Forced him to go to his relatives and family members to get to know their better side. Forced him to study (by asking too many questions about his field of work). Forced him to understand that everybody has feelings, and feelings were something we attend to. Teaching him to care about other people were as hard as teaching a 4 years old calculus.

    One day he asked me, whether or not he should be a government workers. 
    I asked him back what he really wants with his life. 
    And he said, rather than being a government worker, right now he wants to use his profession to save lives. then he tells the story of how people around him kind of pressed him to enter the government worker employment exams.
    And I said, do what you think is best for you. do what will make you proud of yourself.
    Not because i don't want him to be a government workers, but rather because you can never get in between a man and his dream.

    A year later, i feel like it's been paid off. I saw a glow in his eyes when he talk about his job. I saw his better version of himself when he started caring about others. The abusive wreck job that I knew was replaced by this kind, full of smile, selfless and sincere guy I don't even know. But I'm really happy to know him. And everytime I saw this guy with a smile, talking about how he saves lives everyday, I feel really proud of him. Proud that he finally found something that he can be proud of. Something that will bring joy to his life.  

    everybody has a past. everybody will have trials and tribulations. 
    F Scott Fitzgerald says:

    For what it's worth: it's never too late to be whoever you want to be
    I hope you live a life you're proud of,
    And, if you find that you're not,
    I hope you have the strength to start over.

    Happy birthday.
    . Jumat, 28 Agustus 2015 .

    [disclaimer; I wrote this not to scare you guys from buying a house, but merely sharing my experiences and get some of my point across. Buying and having your own house in your 20s is totally cool and awesome. But then, there's a lot of things goes behind the scene that most of you won't even realized now that it's there]

    Most of my friends will hate me for saying this. Afterall, the best investments around here is still properties; house, lands, apartments, you named it. So, in just a few months after my 20th birthday, I bought a house. A small cute home near an airport, 15 minutes from the city by car and 10 minutes by bike (traffic jams ftw); 7.5 meters times 12 meters. Three bedrooms, two bathrooms. Perfect for a small family, too big for a 20 years old. 

    I paid quite a fortune for this house, and it's under my name. It's a sign of significant success from my workplace (I earned quite a lot as an account executive). My parents also donate me a huge sum for me to be able to have the house repainted and renovated a bit since the contractor did a lousy job on the house. 

    Most of my friends (which is around my age) were envious with the revelation that I already had my own home. After they graduate from college two years later, some came to me asking for a few tips on managing the household, as they just apply for a mortgage. 

    The thing is, two years later; I (slightly) regret(-ish) my decision on buying a house. 

    ***
    People think that owning properties makes you a great investor, that you have invest on something you could sell or rent later. Now this is where most people are wrong.

    Once you buy a house, you get comfortable and settling down, you get attached. You don't want to sell the properties because you thought the price could get higher and higher with each day goes by. You think that "this house is my accomplishment, I won't sell until I get the right price".

    Then you started living in it, on your first month you pay for electricity and water you realized you can save a lot more by not turning on the air conditioner. Then you realized it's hot as hell. In the rainy season, it feels better (I save 40% more money on rainy season because of this) but in Jogja, in the middle august, it feels like you're living in the middle of the Gobi. It doesn't help that your place doesn't really have a lot of big trees as a shade because tree leaves are troublesome and you have to rake it up every evening. 

    You then realized that there were ants and mosquitos. You constantly battling your food vs ants and the winner, you can guess: it's the ants. You can't leave food recklessly and had to stay clean, and cleaning a house everyday is a chore when you got 9 to 5 job in your hand already.

    Then you realized that you have to pay for taxes! As every year goes by, your house started to deteriorate and need maintenances, but the taxes keep bubbling, and you hate the government so hard for making you pay for a mere shelter. The house maintenance itself were always a pain in the arse as something is always not right, when you think you can relax, the water from the tap starts leaking, there will be lightbulbs that needed replacement, your cable tv not working, your internet not working, such and such. 

    Well, when you think it's over, came your neighborhood watch. You pay for security, trash pick-up service, and a few neighborhood fundraising you have to attend or your neighbors will start talking about you behind their back. Sometimes even if you attend and help out they will still talking about you behind your back. Nobody is to be trusted these days (although I have a few amazing neighbors whom I'd do anything for them, just as they'll do anything for me). 

    You then realize everything that has a price tags keeps getting more expensive. There's phone bills, electricity, water, internet, cable tv, and at first you'll think "oh i won't need cable tv" then you realized that you need that form of entertainment after long days at work and the local channel were not as entertaining anymore. Then you'll say "broadband internet? a 3G/4G modem will do since my office had a good internet" and then you realize the cable tv came with broadband internet and it's so much cheaper you only have to add a few more thousand rupiahs to it, and there you are swayed by the power of advertising only to realized that their connection sucks and you have to spend time waiting for technicians to take care of them.

    But then people always say this to me; when I got married, I don't have to worry where will I live with my husband, I got it all sorted out.
    No you're wrong.

    My carport were so small that it fits only one car and one or two motorbike. Both of us were driving. Imagined how we scrambled to fight for the rights on using the carports.
    You then realized your significant others consume just as much electricity, water and phone as you. And it's time where you share the bills, but somehow you want everything to go with your way and don't want to compromise. Sharing the bills means you compromise in how long you get to use the phone and the goddamn air conditioner (without the AC I will be only paying 1/3 of what I paid each month, seriously) and you don't want that privileges taken away from you. But on the other hand you're happy to have someone so handy at home that could save you money from calling maintenance technicians.

    Then you start comparing your expenses and it's a lot bigger than when you still renting. And you were swayed to rent again and sell your house, but then you already have too much furnitures and love the house (because it's your accomplishment, remember?)

    ***

    Having a house has its own perks and downside. I was lucky that I get to learn this at such young age, So hopefully by sharing this experience with you, you can consider what will you need to make that house your home. Because buying a real house, needs a lot of consideration and weighing every options that you have. Be smart and be wise. 

    In this economy a lot of things could happen. Mortgage can rises, property prices bubbled up and then went south. There's more to investment than just lands and houses. If you think you are not ready to managed a house of your own, think again, you might be right. But if you think you are capable of doing so on your own, go ahead. It's always good to have somewhere where you can cool off privately.

    Much love from the duck-chess.
    . Kamis, 27 Agustus 2015 .

    Dearest B.

    I know I should've talk to you in person, I'll do it if I could. I'll swam across the ocean. I'll drive for months. I'll walk for miles. I'll do everything in my power if I could, sadly, this has been bigger than me. 

    I missed those long days where you, H and I were sitting on your porch talking about dreams from a junior highschooler perspective. How you will be a news anchor, H will be a CEO of a diamond company and how I will be a fashion designer. Everything we knew as perfect, is those afternoons with lemon teas and shorts and our nokia phones.

    I missed those birthday parties we threw for each other, those very small and sloppy cake we bake on H's oven. Those foods that I snuck off my brother's secret stash. Those laughters that three pre-teens shared over smallest things like my untamed frizzy hair or your first pimple. We were quite a team and we know it.

    I regret every single day I spend on not answering your call. I regret every time I hit that red button and just threw my phone to the side. I regret every fucking goddamned time I didn't try to ask you what's wrong. That's my ego, that's where I'm wrong and that's when everything going downhill for us.

    I was a selfish teenager with an ego. You and H are far more beautiful and smarter than me. I don't have even the smallest confidence when we walked together to our tutors. I was this girl with greasy hair, thick glasses, acnes and I don't think there's anyone out there having the slightest interest at me. Until today, it always is like that. Between the three of us, you're the one who were carrying the nuclear bomb inside of you, yet you're always the most calm, glowing and radiant. And that's how I always remember you.

    You're a person with flaws. I get it. Sometimes I re-read your last letters, asking for our understanding that we've treated you like you're an alien. You got it wrong. We never treated you like an alien. It's just that it feels good for once having the attention for myself. It feels good that for once, I'm the one that people asked for and not you. And this is my fault. I just hope that you find it in your heart to forgive me for my selfishness.

    You are a very beautiful and strong person. It's just that you forget the strong part sometimes.
    You never once complained about your life. And it's our fault for not remembering that you got it harder than us.

    I cried on your funeral. The first time in years I cried like I've been scolded really hard by an unseen powers. That it's the first time I truly lost a friend, and lost a beautiful friendship we had since we were so little. Losing a friend is the worst feeling I've ever felt so far.

    Maybe that's why I kept having this second thought about being very social. Because life sometimes filled with backstabbers and it's so hard to keep track of a very loyal friend.
    Of all my entire life, I partially spent it blaming myself for losing a friend like you. And you blamed yourself for all the pain we have caused you. 

    After facing too many deaths of a loved ones I finally realize that there were some things that were left unsaid. Most of it were not the voice of anger or disappointment but rather the voice of love. Chinese people believed that this is the gui yue. The hungry ghost month where the soul of your families, friends and loved ones roam the earth for a month. I just hoped that this will be enough to give you some peace up there.

    Our life has been different since you left. H moved to Sydney and then get married and stay in Brisbane. I was her maid of honor. It sucks that I'm not able to see her sooner since now she's following her husband jetsetting around. D is an aspired filmmakers trying to met his end meets in L.A, he's still the old D. O already had a daughter few years back, she looks very pretty. K... well K is nowhere to be seen. I heard she just graduated. 

    And Me? I'm still insecure of how I look like. Still doesn't understand why the world goes around. Still asking for you every time I visit your grave to forgive me, and now I'm asking the same things I've been asking for years, to forgive me for being such a lousy friend. I had hoped you heard and understand my feelings. I hope the afterlife offers lemon tea, and we can visit each other's porches even after both of us had no longer linger in this world.

    If you happened to have time, 
    Love, J.
    . Sabtu, 22 Agustus 2015 .

    hola amigos! summer holiday is almost over and unfortunately i have some good news and some bad news.
    the good news is: i am accepted in a grad school. I'm taking my master on healthcare law! Finally!!! after 4 years of undergraduate study majoring business law and working as a branding consultant part time I'm finally here. This is a huge step.

    the bad news is: I'm not ready yet. 

    Well, I mean, nobody is ready for their dreams when their dreams is about to become true. I bet Kurt Cobain wasn't ready for his stardom when he became the person who shaped grunge and the 90s. I bet Mark Zuckerberg wasn't ready when facebook became the #2 website in the face of the earth (with the #1 being google, of course).

    My dream as shallow as it was started here. And it's happening right now. A very expensive dream with an equally expensive tuition. Well, it's not that I couldn't pay for grad school, fortunately I was blessed with education savings that my parents had set up for me a long time ago (and most of my pocket money and allowance goes here) since I was dreaming of Yale, but well, long story short, I decided to enrolled at my alma mater. 

    Oh God I'm so nervous. 

    This is like a dream, I mean well, for starter I'm the first in my family that were in law school and I probably has set some example for my younger cousins, nephews and nieces. Like, life is not just medical school and business school. I'm their role models now. If I succeed in law school, and majoring on some "hocus pocus" law they've never heard before (yes, most people doesn't know that there are healthcare law in Indonesia) chances are they will follow my footsteps. If I'm not succeeded (or at least not succeeded enough by my family ridiculous standards) well, I'll be damn for the rest of my life and let my struggle become a joke on its own.

    Truth is, I don't even know what to prepare. I'm still this 22 years old that looked like a clueless highschooler. I love my baggy jeans and my comfy t-shirt that i wear for class (even though it's forbidden) but now in grad school, i don't even know how should I look like. this is killing me. I can't even plan what I'm going to wear accordingly.

    Plus everything is so sudden, they just gave me the letter of acceptance last wednesday night, and next monday i'll be taking my almamater coat and have my first lecture in tuesday! 

    Now, it's the end of the month and fortunately I have my leftover stationery so I don't have to buy a new one, but for those who were from outside the region, I can't imagine how they could find housings and school stuffs in less than a week (insert sad face here).

    So here i am trying to figure out what to wear and what to bring and do we get an orientation week, where will i have my class, and such and such. I haven't even got my hands on a syllabus and can't predict what books to buy. 

    This is it. The new chapter has just begin.