Stuff We Think on the Toilet #002: On Loving His Occupation...

I'm engaged to Alfa for a month tomorrow, and let me tell you this: I love him. I do. A lot, actually. And I know, love is an unconditi...

I'm engaged to Alfa for a month tomorrow, and let me tell you this: I love him. I do. A lot, actually. And I know, love is an unconditional state of feeling, but I got to tell you this: I HATE HIS JOB.

Okay, hate is actually a very strong word, so I'm going to rephrase it: I'm not psyched about his job.

I love animals, I do. And I saw his passion towards animals and I love it. I really understand that being a veterinary surgeon is his calling and I got to respect him for that. I saw him going tough times when everyone else around him wants him to works in the government and he didn't really want that. I went to him and ask him what he really wants in life and he said it boldly, "I want to be a vet surgeon"

So I become the Vet's (future) wife. No big deal. Vet's wife is awesome--will never be as awesome as being a WAGs or wife of a multi millionaire, but still awesome. Boy, I was wrong, and I got to hand my hat over to all those Veterinarian's wife around the world--who isn't a vet, by the way, since mostly married girls from the same occupation--you ladies, are awesome, I don't know how you can keep up with that, but pure respect bro.

I already felt the hardships on our first few months of dating since he was on a clinical rotation. On our first week of dating he was stationed in a zoo and he snaps cute picture of animal for his report and somehow he decided to send it to me because: (a) he knows I love that zoo and I regularly go to that zoo just to (somehow) donate my money for tickets, trainers tips, etc, so the animals can live longer and (b) who doesn't love cute animals? I mean he sent me a photo of a cute orangutans drinking a bottled tea--WHO DOESN'T LOVE ORANGUTANS AND BOTTLED TEA?? 

But then shit goes down because he showed me a photo of Prairie Dog's necropsy that he did there. I almost puke and I cried straightaway because... It's necropsy. Technically it's an autopsy for a dead prairie dog and let me tell you one, that is one cute fella you cut open there, bro. 

Then the next week he showed me the photo of goat's feces he's been inspecting. I asked him how can he determined whether the sample of goat's feces is healthy or not--and he proceeds to show me where the worm is and how the worm lives in the feces--all while we're cuddling and canoodling in a romantic evening enjoying my home cooked meal.

There was this one time where he promised me he'll took me watch the Annabelle, and the queue in the cinemas were crazily long. He can't come because he had to helped a cow getting birth so I queue alone despite how boring it is and I want to cry because I felt so alone just to get us tickets. That feeling kind of disappears when he said the birth process was successful and he looks so happy. 

I know that his job is to save the world, one animal at a time. And wasn't it fun to save the world? yes. You can ask any superheroes in the world whether they love saving the world: they'll say yes. Try asking lois lane how it feels like to be with superman or try asking mary jane why she can't be with spiderman. Being the wife of a superhero sucks. And I can confirm this big time because it involves a lot of worrying, a lot of sleepless night and a lot of praying. 

It happened just last monday; there's a female cat that needs a C-Section. He never did a C-Section alone before. I was kneeling and praying like crazy the whole time it happened (although I was somewhere else) and few hours later when it's done he just sent a text saying 'it's done, i'm so exhausted' to which I bombarded him with questions about how it went because I was so worried he's going to kill the cat.

I actually have a strong beliefs in Alfa's ability to perform surgery on animal since I know he's really good at doing it so I shouldn't have to worry that he's going to kill the cat. But still, when your spouse confided their problems with you, and yet all you can do is wait and do nothing, you'll feel useless. Plus, he dated fellow veterinarian students before, so...insecurities alert. 

Imagine sitting home knowing he's doing something that risked his life (like, he can bit by a rabies' ridden dog--knock on wood). How can you not hate yourself for not being able to do anything about it?

So I did some researching on veterinarian job. And then I stumbled to an old manga that I happened to like because my bestfriend reccomends it to me. The title is "Wild Life"

Basically it's about a Vet named Tesshou Iwashiro who has a "perfect pitch" abilities and was stationed on the Wildlife Station on the R.E.D Vet Hospital in Japan. He performs a lot of complicated surgeries on animal and was never seen backing down on a patient. His determination on being a veterinarian surgeon amazed me right from the start, so I kept reading until I felt like, maybe this is why Alfa wants to be a vet.

But then, there's always downside in everything. The downside of me reading this manga so I can love Alfa's job is I kept asking him about things I read in the manga. And I believed it was a nuisance to him because he had to explained everything to me, unless I will kept on asking about that things--yes, I'm curious yet annoying just like that.

Like, "baby can you perform surgery on fish?" "what is empyema?" "baby can our pet dog be a nurse dog?" was among the stupid questions I asked. Stupidity confirmed, I know.

But see, here's the thing: I'm not a vet, I wanted to be one since I love animals so much but my dad objects them and in honour of being the only heiress of my family business, I agreed with them and go to lawschool instead (note: It should've been either business school or medical school--they went berserk after my choice of college, but it's still number one lawschool in Indonesia, what up), I don't understand how a Vet can easily took down an animal if they have to, because I cried every time my dogs won't eat and didn't sleep whenever they showed some sickness. I always worried whenever Alfa works really late, and I cringe on the sight of bloods--so it's pretty explanatory why we can't connect even on modular level regarding to his job. Even so, I want to be useful to him, and I want him to feel like he can confide to me anything, and that includes his work day. 

I want to love something that is his biggest hope and dream. I want to love something that he loved doing and I want to be his source of strength whenever he needs it. And I want to be very supportive of his choice of occupation even though it horrifies me to do so.

After all, I'm going to marry a vet and his life, will be my life too.

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